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Prevent Arrogant Behavior in your Child ...The forth one will shock you

If confidence turns into arrogance, your child will be deprived of the real happiness in life. There is lot you can do as a parent to nurture your child’s life and help her become the best he or she can be. Encourage your child to focus from inside out and help him or her become a confident adult.

Tips to Help Prevent Arrogant Behavior in Kids

Have a look at the tips for preventing arrogant behavior in kids.

1. Be a Role Model for Your Child

Children do what they see their parents doing. If you boast yourself often, you are definitely going to find your child doing the same. Be a role model for your child and act modestly.

2. Teach Your Child to Accept Failure

 Teach your child to accept failure, learn and then grow. Many life lessons are learned in this way. So, do not come in the way of stumble to prevent your child from failing.

3. Celebrate your Child’s Success in Limit

You may get surprised and happy knowing that your child has accomplished milestones or achieved some skill faster than others. It is good to celebrate, but avoid overdoing it. This will lower the value of real and big achievements.

4. Avoid Praising your Child too Much

If you find that your child is performing excellently or has some outstanding talent, do not praise too much. Appreciate his or her skills and encourage him or her to sharpen that ability so that she understands that there is lot more to be improved.

5. Stop Your Child from Bragging

If you find that your child is often boasting about her achievements and feels very high of himself or herself, talk to him or her. Let him or her understand that there are many children with different abilities and there is nothing exclusive about that.

6. Let Your Child Take Challenges

Well, this does not mean that you encourage your child to challenge everyone she comes across his or her talent. This is important because maybe your child is a frog in a well. Let him or her face like a small fish in a big pond. This will help your child improve and grow and perform better in every field. Leaving the comfort zone and taking a step outside will also make your child realize and hence there will be no arrogance in his or her nature.

7. Provide lot of Positive Support

You should be clear, specific and consistent when setting the limits for your child. Make sure you do not tolerate aggressive behaviour under any circumstances.

8. Keep Your Child Engaged in Different Activities

Engagement is very important for everyone especially a young child. Make sure your child is not overloaded, but keeping him or her engaged in problem solving session or brainstorming games will help him or her focus confidence in the right path.

9. Support Your Child and Skills

Avoid criticism because mere blame is not going to help your child. Come up with some option for your child and help him or her come out of the aggressive behavior.

10. Correct Your Child’s Behavior

Kids learn eventually - this is mere excuse because your child will follow the same behavior pattern as he or she grows if not corrected right now.

Teach your child to be happy with what he or she has so that she gets the true happiness in life. If your child wants to achieve more in life, teach him or her importance of hard work and honesty.

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Tips to observe Child Psychology

Realizing and accepting your child’s likes, dislikes, qualities (good or bad) is the key to being a good parent. When you accept them just the way they are, they get a sense of security. Here are a few tips to help you understand your child:

1. Observe
You need to know your child if you want to understand him. It is possible to do so simply by being around him and observing him. When you see him playing, asking for a certain thing, reacting in a certain manner to situations, his interaction with others, etc., you get to know a great deal about his overall personality.

2. Be your Child’s Best Friend
Making your child realize that you are always there for him whenever he needs you can be your first step towards attaining this goal. This will make him feel secure, loved and wanted. Help him to open up to you.

3. Spend Quality Time with your Child
Being around your child isn’t enough. To know him better do activities together like playing games, cooking (children are always eager to help), cleaning up cupboards or his room, etc.

4. Praise your Child
Praising him for good work done will boost his self-esteem. However, overpraise can make him arrogant and snobbish.

5. Listen
By listening to your child, you get to know him more. Doing so will make him feel that you are interested in his life. This will in turn help to strengthen the bond between you two.

6. Talking
Talking to your child that are of interest to him could help him open up to you. In this way, you could initiate conversations more easily and get to know your child better.

7. Give Full Attention while Talking
Always maintain eye contact while talking to your child. By doing so, you will make sure your child believes that you are listening and what he’s saying is of utmost importance to you.

8. Give Respect
When your child talks about any of his insecurities, fears, or any situation where he has been put to shame, do not laugh or ridicule him. You need to understand that for a child (especially during his adolescent years), it isn’t particularly easy to open up. It must have taken a lot of courage on his part to do so.

9. Explaining
Children up to the age of 5 – 6 will abide by all the rules created by you or the decisions you have taken for their betterment. The real problem lies with adolescents. Blame it on their age. In such situations just try and explain as to why you had to take a certain decision or do a certain thing. At that moment they may be angry with you, but eventually, with time, they will understand.

10. Taking Opinion
Ask for his opinion where it is necessary. Doing so will make him feel important and will raise his self-worth.

11. Discovering the Reasons Behind his Behavior
If your child has been misbehaving or has shown some negative behavior, try to find out the cause behind it. By doing so, you will find out where you’ve been going wrong as a parent, and it will give you a chance to enhance your parenting skills.

12. Knowing their Likes and Dislikes
Knowledge about what your child likes and dislikes will also help you know them better.

13. Freedom of Expression
Allow your child to express himself the way he wants to. You could get a glimpse of how he thinks or what he wants.

14. Don’t be Too Curious
Every parent is eager to know what is happening in their child’s life especially in case your child is an adolescent but don’t be overly curious. Too much curiosity on your part could make him feel that you don’t believe in him and this could end the bond between the two of you.

15. Think Like Them
It is important to think like them while talking to them or doing an activity together. This will give him a sense of familiarity.

16. Let their Imagination Take Wings
While taking a stroll with your little one, observe him. He may see something quite different to what you are seeing. Do not stop him when he does so. This will help you get an insight into his inner world.

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9 Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People.. probably you dont do often !!

Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack.

Despite the significance of emotional intelligence, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know which behaviors you should emulate.

1. They’re relentlessly positive. Keep your eyes on the news for any length of time, and you’ll see that it’s just one endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies, and environmental disasters. It’s easy to think the world is headed downhill fast. And who knows? Maybe it is. But emotionally intelligent people don’t worry about that because they don’t get caught up in things they can’t control. They focus their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their power—their attention and their effort. Numerous studies have shown that optimists are physically and psychologically healthier than pessimists. They also perform better at work. Remind yourself of this the next time a negative train of thought takes hold of you.

2. They have a robust emotional vocabulary. All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions. People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

3. They’re assertive. People with high EQs balance good manners, empathy, and kindness with the ability to assert themselves and establish boundaries. This tactful combination is ideal for handling conflict. When most people are crossed, they default to passive or aggressive behavior. Emotionally intelligent people remain balanced and assertive by steering themselves away from unfiltered emotional reactions. This enables them to neutralize difficult and toxic people without creating enemies.

4. They’re curious about other people. It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

5. They forgive, but they don’t forget. Emotionally intelligent people live by the motto “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” They forgive in order to prevent a grudge, but they never forget. The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding on to that stress can have devastating health consequences, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. However, offering forgiveness doesn’t mean they’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Emotionally intelligent people will not be bogged down by mistreatment from others, so they quickly let things go and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

6. They won’t let anyone limit their joy. When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

7. They make things fun. Emotionally intelligent people know exactly what makes them happy, and they constantly work to bring this happiness into everything they do. They turn monotonous work into games, go the extra mile to make people they care about happy, and take breaks to enjoy the things they love no matter how busy they are. They know that injecting this fun into their lives fights off stress and builds lasting resilience.

8. They are difficult to offend. If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.

9. They quash negative self-talk. A big step in developing emotional intelligence involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. You can stop the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says by writing them down. Once you’ve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating their veracity. You can bet that your statements aren’t true any time you use words such as “never,” “worst,” and “ever.” If your statements still look like facts once they’re on paper, take them to a friend and see if he or she agrees with you. Then the truth will surely come out.

Summing Up ....

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, your brain builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. Before long, you will begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it. And as your brain reinforces the use of new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors will die off.

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90 seconds rule .. Unbelievable

Here’s some great news that we’re happy to share with you. It’s been proven that we are capable of choosing our emotions. That means, it can be totally up to ourselves  whether we feel angry, frustrated or stressed. Sounds intriguing, or maybe if you’re prone to being ruled by your emotions, it might sound like freedom! So how can you do it….. ?

The stress hormone – Cortisol – is released in your brain every time you find yourself in challenging circumstances. A quick dose of this substance makes us more alert to what’s happening around and alarmed, in case a quick reaction (fight/flight) was necessary. If you are in a life threatening situation then you want this happening. However staying stressed and alarmed every day and responding this way to every situation in life is not good for us at all.

When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds.

This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away. After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking – that are re-stimulating the circuitry – that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again.

Steps to use the 90 seconds rule

Start by tuning into yourself and experiencing the feeling. Don’t deny it, acknowledge it instead but don’t give into it. You know that your immediate decision is needed to shift your thinking and bring your attention elsewhere. You have a power to select. Your conscious awareness will enable that. Find your own individual, best solutions that work: count to 90, clench your fists, breathe or do whatever else you can to get through the emotion.

So what can you do to manage what happens next? What works for you? The next step is to give your brain something else to do. You can replace your thoughts and redirect your attention towards topics that are more positive and relaxing. This means that you will continue to rely on your left hemisphere. Or you can choose to focus on your senses and e.g. notice the environment (what you smell, taste, see, hear and physically feel) which will mean that your right hemisphere is stimulated. Move your thoughts away from the stressful matter, before you even begin to believe that what you are thinking is true.

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6 ways to raise the emotional intelligence of your kid

Emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as EQ, is often overlooked as a skill set in today’s world. The recent animated film Inside Out calls attention to effective ways of addressing a child’s journey by embracing and better understanding their emotions; particularly those that don’t feel positive.

A child’s emotional health is far more important in determining future happiness than factors such as academic success or wealth. Parents can help ensure a healthy emotional upbringing by avoiding making three mistakes.

Disapproval of a child’s emotions: This involves being critical of a child’s displays of negative emotion and reprimanding or punishing the child for expressing them.

Dismissing a child’s emotions: This comes across as regarding a child’s emotions as unimportant, either through ignoring their emotions, or worse, trivializing them.

Offering little relevant guidance: While parents may empathize, they don’t set limits on behavior or assist each child in understanding and coping with their emotions.

Recipe for a High EQ

Parents can successfully form deeper connections with their kids by recognizing, respecting and acknowledging their emotional range, rather than telling kids they should feel a certain way. Telling someone how they should or shouldn’t feel only teaches them to distrust themselves and that there’s something wrong with them. As a communication aid, Inside Out may speak best to older children, because younger viewers may get the erroneous impression that emotions can control them, rather than that they can control their own emotional reactions.

The recipe for healthy bonding and emotional development is for all parties to model how they value the importance of each other’s feelings and respectfully listen for the feelings behind the words. In opening ourselves to being understood, we open ourselves to understanding others. Good parenting involves emotion. Good relationships involve emotion. The bottom line is that emotions matter.

We all struggle with negative emotions from time to time, and the way we address and deal with them influences our emotional health. The goal is to develop a trustworthy emotional connection with the other person that is important to us, which enhances intimacy and the effectiveness of the relationship in accomplishing good. Using this six-part process of helpful concrete steps applies equally to the children and adults in our lives.

• Become aware of your kid’s emotions.

• Care about your kid by seeing their emotions as valid and important.

• Listen empathetically to better understand the way they feel, allowing them to feel safe to be vulnerable without fear of judgment. Seek to understand, rather than to agree or redirect.

• Acknowledge and validate their feelings. We don’t need to validate that the thoughts they have about their emotions are correct; instead, simply let them know that it’s valid to feel the way that they do. For example, if a friend says, “I feel useless,” we could validate them by saying, “I can see how you might feel that way.”

• Allow your kid to experience their emotions fully before moving toward any kind of improvement. We cannot impose our idea of when they should be ready or able to feel differently. This is when we practice unconditional presence and unconditional love. We are there as support, without trying to fix them or anything else. Don’t be offended if they don’t accept support that’s offered at this time. A benevolent power is inherent in offering love that exists regardless of what someone does or does not do with it.

• Help your kid to strategics ways to manage the reactions they might be having to their emotions after—and only after—their feelings have been validated, acknowledged and fully felt. This is when we can assert new ways of looking at a situation that may improve the way another person is feeling. This is when advice may be offered.

When done successfully, this process can transform a conflict encountered in a relationship into solid gold.

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Childhood Psychological Disorders

Childhood Psychological Disorders
Children acquire certain behaviors, influenced by their parents, family members and the society. Most children have minor behavioral issues (6) such as being adamant and rude or lacking attention. If these issues get complicated they become disorders. Here are a few common psychological disorders in children:

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): Children with ADHD display three main characteristics: inattention, impulsiveness and hyperactivity. They can also be fidgety, aggressive and excitable.

Depression and Bipolar Disorder: Children with bipolar disorder tend to have abrupt mood swings, long periods of hyperactivity followed by lethargy, temper tantrums, frustration and defiant behavior.

Anxiety Disorder: Children with general anxiety disorder tend to worry excessively about everything. Even the most trivial of issues tend to give them sleepless nights.

Asperger’s Syndrome: This is a mild form of autism. Symptoms include lack of social skills, dislike in change of routine and the familiar environment, no eye contact, unusual gestures and facial expressions, lack of empathy and awkward motor skills.

Learning Disability: This is psychological disorder that makes learning a challenge. Symptoms include inability to pay attention, poor memory, poor coordination, inability to follow instructions or directions, and lack of organization.

Disruptive Behavior Disorder: Children with this disorder may tend to bully others, isolate themselves from social situations, destroy property or hurt animals deliberately, lie or even steal things.

Eating Disorders: Children with eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia tend to have abnormal eating habits. These disorders are usually the result of obsessive thinking about weight gain and physical appearance. Symptoms include inability to eat anything, vomiting and binge-eating.

Schizophrenia: Schizophrenia is not as common among children as it is in adults. Symptoms of this psychological disorder include social withdrawal, sleeplessness, lack of motivation, drop in performance at school, depression, forgetfulness and strange behavior.

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